yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
