your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish you could order shots online.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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