you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
