do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
