last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
