My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
