I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
