can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
