Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
