I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
