remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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