grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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