if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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