the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I will pee on everything he values.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
