I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
