very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I AM VODKA MAN
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
