If i come over, it means nothing
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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