If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
did i just pee glitter
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
