I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
