OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
