I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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