How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
