thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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