Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
