All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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