erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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