i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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