it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
