And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
