there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
