And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
