Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
