my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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