soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
