I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
birth control should be required to get into college
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
