Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
