remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So vagazzling was a success
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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