Buhtt sex?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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