So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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