it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
