just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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