Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
only you would photoshop your dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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