Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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