You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
