It's just like the Real World with babies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
