Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
