dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
