Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my shit smells like andre
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
