My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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