This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
