So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
